Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
