his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
