..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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