Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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