you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
