Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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