I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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