operation have a gay friend backfired
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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