we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Boobs speak an international language.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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