Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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