we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
