Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
ttyl tear gas
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
