So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
