Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
