I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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