He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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