I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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