is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
