Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
