Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
