P.S. I can't hear my feet
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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