Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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