A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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