I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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