sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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