We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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