Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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