perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
