Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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