So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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