I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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