hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
