I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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