never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
