i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
