operation harelip BJ is a go
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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