whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
