Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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