Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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