Got a toothbrush?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
