I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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