I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
