I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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