This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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