So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
