YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize