Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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