I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
