But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
