Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
