Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
