he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
