I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
