You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
