You can't motorboat a personality
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
