This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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