why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
