Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
