Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
