i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
